So today was a crap day. I planned to go to the airport and knock out this genius instructional video but I was sort of tired from being an all around badass plus I totally I forgot to eat dinner.
"Maybe flying will make me feel better." I said to myself.
I thought I will fly to this little uncontrolled field so people aren't looking at me like I am a dumbass while I film myself.
I get out there, start it up. Now I don't know why but for like the first time in a hundred hours I didn't do a big walk around after my preflight like I normally do.
Started to taxi and FOOOMP! this traffic cone goes flying down the ramp!!!
There goes the whole "so people aren't looking at me like I am a dumbass" thing.
It goes maybe 30 yards right through window of a 182. And I mean it shatters it!
I kept thinking "this day can't get any worse".
That is when I realize that there is someone in the 182.
A man and a little Labrador puppy either just landed or were about to go for a flight.
Either way I'm like in a panic.
I shut everything down and walk over to the guy and he is bleeding from his temple.
He is screaming and yelling about lawyers and crap.
I tell him I have a first aid kit in my plane and I am going to get it. "I'll be right back"
I don't know what I was thinking. I just fired up the plane and taxied away.
I guess nobody really realized what had happened because I made my call to the tower and they were all "Tree Six Via Bravo and Alpha."
I took off and flew for awhile feeling terrible and light headed.
Then it started to set in what I had done."I'm such an idiot" I thought. What a dumb decision.
I couldn't believe I would have made the decision to fly on an empty stomach.
Bypassed the IM SAFE thing completely.
I had the auto pilot on because I was flustered and tried to collect myself. I really wanted to film my video on how to be your own safety pilot. I put on the foggles and went through the whole thing and it was really good stuff. I never felt unsafe because the auto pilot was on and I could see traffic on the avedyne.
Then it dawned on me how stupid this was. Instead of hitting record, I hit the power button and didn't film any of it. UGH!!!! Whatever "just go somewhere!" I said.
This is when I looked down and noticed that the auto pilot wasn't engaged. I NEVER TURNED IT ON!!!
I had probably drifted easily 1 to 2 miles off course by now and really had no way of determining where I was. I had a flight bag with sectionals, E6bs, protractors but nobody knows how to use that crap. It's all just for show.
I grabbed the FAR AIM to see if it had any location references in it. Let's be honest, I maybe read half a page before I just decided it wasn't worth it.
Now I am hungry, I am lost, Probably a murderer. I am sure there is a little dog licking the cold dead face of his pilot on the ramp.
I decide this journey has to stop.
I decide to head to an airport where I used to go for BBQ and call the authorities and let them know what happened.
I manage to get there and land.
The BBQ lady is picking up a couple that flew in and she looks at me and says "I got room for one more."
Well... It is good BBQ so I go.
The brisket was awesome. Funny how a little food in your belly changes everything.
I decided since I am going to lose my license and go to jail, I better fly home and deal with what's coming.
I fly back to KDTO and land my plane.
I can still see the 182 with the cone still in the windshield.
The man is there and he is talking to 3 people. One has a badge. He starts pointing at me.
I know I am screwed so I taxi over.
I am taxiing and all of the sudden FOOMP!! "AAAG My prop hit something!".
A little Labrador puppy goes flying like 30 yards down the ramp and right into the windshield of a King Air.
There were pieces of that little puppy everywhere.
Sure enough, a guy comes climbing out of the king air with a rare, albino, Jamaican seeing-eye deer.
His forehead is bleeding. He starts screaming. I said "Hold on, I have a kit in my plane with bandages. I'll go get it. Be right back!"
So here I am... Circling over north Dallas. I have a few hours of fuel remaining and nowhere to go.
It is starting to get dark though and I am once again getting hungry.
This really sucks. And I know when I land, that deer is going flying into the windshield of a 737.
What a really bad day this has been.
And I still have a huge mess to deal with once I land. I can't even imagine how you clean puppy off a propeller.